In memory of my puppy for life

[wanda farrow]

Your Own Grief

The death of someone who is significant to you is one of the hardest things you will experience in your life. Whether it is expected or a shock, the enormity of loss is something that impacts on you in a very profound way.
Grief takes a long time to work through. There are no hard and fast guidelines for this. It takes as long as it takes, but as a general rule it will take longer than you expect. It is important not to try to 'get over it' too quickly, not to adopt a 'stiff upper lip' attitude. Grief is an inevitable and human response. If suppressed, it may well surface at some later, less appropriate stage. Sometimes there seems to be an expectation that you will have recovered after a certain time has elapsed, but everyone has their own recovery time which cannot be hurried. The first anniversary of the death is an important milestone and can be particularly difficult. Subsequent birthdays and anniversaries can be poignant reminders of your loss, and you may need to find your own way of dealing with such times by either marking them as special commemorative events or by ensuring you distract yourself while time passes.

Bereavement is an entirely individual experience. No one can tell you how you will or should feel. Everyone grieves in their own special way but there are some generally accepted and recognised reactions:

You may at first feel totally numb, as if paralysed
You may find yourself unable to believe the person really is dead
You may find yourself very angry at being deserted
You may feel an enormous sense of unfairness
You may find yourself crying uncontrollably and unable to function as normal
You may feel guilty about surviving, about not having said goodbye; about leaving things unresolved
You may feel an aching void, as if you have lost a limb, which you feel will never be filled again
You may be traumatised if the death has been in any way violent such as through an accident, suicide or murder.